It’s possible to train yourself to orgasm and delay climax. With the right techniques, you can start delaying your orgasm and lasting longer in bed right away.
In this blog, we’re focusing on a man-and-woman relationship, since orgasm training is more common among men, and this is a common problem.
What you especially shouldn’t do to delay your orgasm:
❌ Counting sheep
❌ Thinking about something else
❌ Thinking of an unattractive person
❌ Losing control of your lust
❌ Solving math equations in your head
❌ Masturbating right before sex
❌ Applying numbing cream to your genitals (dangerous!)
Read below to learn how to get better in bed and ultimately find bed partners who can’t wait to get intimate with you again.
Why is it important to train yourself to orgasm?
Training yourself to orgasm gives you more control over your body. This lets you satisfy your partner better, so you can ultimately enjoy sex more intensely together.
This applies to one-night stands, but also to regular partners.
Why is it important for your partner to enjoy it too? Because then she’ll want to go to bed with you more often.
You get satisfied, and so does she.
Give her what she wants (an orgasm), and you’ll get what you want (more sex).
It’s basically a logical explanation.
If you want your partner to have sex with you more often, she needs to enjoy the sex too.
If it takes your partner longer to have an orgasm, you need to make sure you can last longer. Or stimulate your partner better, which is harder since you can’t always feel what they’re feeling.
That’s why it’s easier to work on the things you can easily influence: yourself.
So if you make sure the other person can also have an orgasm by building up your stamina, she’ll show more interest in sex.
The reverse is also true: if your partner always finishes before you and leaves you unsatisfied, you’ll become less and less interested. After all, there’s little in it for you.
Think of it as a dinner date:
You and your partner go to a restaurant with a surprise menu, so you’re not allowed to choose your food.
You always get a beautiful, generous dish with the tastiest drinks, perfect sauces, and delicious garnishes. In short, a delicious meal that leaves you feeling full. Every time, you’re surprised with the best dishes at a truly top-notch place.
Your partner gets five dried-out cucumber slices and has to make do with that. No sauces, no dessert, no drinks, nothing.
Your needs are being met, but your partner’s aren’t.
It’s understandable that your partner never wants to eat at that restaurant again, right? She only gets little cucumbers while you get to enjoy yourself to your heart’s content.
It’s exactly the same with sex and orgasms: learn to build your stamina so you can make sex more enjoyable and exciting for your partner.
You learn to control your orgasm, and in return, your partner finds having sex with you much more enjoyable.
In short, training yourself to control your orgasm leads to better performance in bed with a one-night stand who might want a second or third round, even if you’re a little nervous.
Or your partner may find sex with you much, much more enjoyable because of your increased stamina.
How do you train yourself to control your orgasms?
There are 2 ways to learn to control your orgasm.
1. Have so much sex that you get used to it and sex no longer stimulates you, and may even become boring.
2. Recognizing and manipulating the tension building in your body (through your own breathing).
The first option is possible, but requires a lot of sex partners and takes a long time. Another downside is that once you find sex boring, it’s hard to turn things around.
The second option is easier, works fairly quickly, and builds stamina quickly too.
Option 2 is quite simple: once you start penetrating, it’s important to take your time, keep your lust under control, and make slow thrusts with your genitals.
A good rule of thumb: thrust in or out every 1-2 seconds. Slower is fine too, of course.
Move rhythmically with your breathing. As if you’re meditating: breathe in deeply, hold your breath for a few seconds, then breathe out slowly and steadily.
Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 3 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, then hold your breath for 3 seconds.
Basically, it’s not about the seconds, but about shifting your attention from your genitals to your breathing.
Whenever your mind wanders back to your genitals, don’t worry; just return your focus to your breathing.
At first, this may feel unfamiliar, but over time you’ll learn to do it discreetly.
It may sound a little far-fetched, but this technique works right from the moment you first try it.
Focusing on your breathing helps you put the stimulation in the background, keep your mind calm, and relax your body.
Ultimately, it’s important to practice this method. You can do this during sex, but ideally, you’ll have mastered your own orgasm before you get to that point.
Apply these techniques while masturbating or, even better, with a sex toy.
Masturbating with your hands simply isn’t as stimulating as using a sex toy, which makes the challenge greater, but also makes the learning process better and therefore more effective.
Besides this, there are two more exercises you can do anywhere, anytime.
1. Meditate to learn to focus on your breathing. There are plenty of guided meditations online or on YouTube.
2. Train your pelvic floor muscles so you can control the initiator of an orgasm. The pelvic floor muscle is a muscle you use while urinating, and it becomes active when you suddenly try to hold back your urine while urinating.
Try to identify your pelvic floor muscle the next time you use the toilet while sitting, or sit on a chair, try to urinate, and then stop the flow. The tension you feel is your pelvic floor muscle, which feels like it’s just behind your genitals, between your bladder and anus.
Tense your pelvic floor muscle and release it. Repeat this process 10 times, and every now and then hold your pelvic floor muscle tense for 4-5 seconds.
Do 10 repetitions, tensing and relaxing, and sometimes hold the tension for a few seconds.
Do these 10 repetitions 3 times a day, resting for 1 minute between each set.
- 10 repetitions
- 1 minute of rest
- 10 repetitions
- 1 minute of rest
- 10 repetitions
Exercise complete.
You can do this exercise sitting, standing, or lying down. This muscle plays a major role during orgasm, since it pushes semen forward through your penis. That’s why it’s important to keep it under control. Then you decide when you climax; without tensing this muscle, you can’t actually experience an orgasm.
Techniques such as “edging” and the “start-stop method.”
Edging is stimulating your penis until just before climax. You balance right on the edge of orgasm and stop just before the point of no return.
This method helps you get comfortable holding back an orgasm by making the point of orgasm feel less intense.
The start-stop method involves letting sex build up normally and stopping when the tension becomes too intense. It’s a disguised form of edging.
This method can work, but it isn’t very effective, since the time between each start and stop gets shorter each time, which also makes sex less enjoyable for you. You get more and more aroused, so after each stop, you start again closer to orgasm.
In short: keep your mind calm by focusing on your breathing, train your pelvic floor muscles, and practice these techniques with lifelike sex dolls so your performance is perfect when you want to amaze a bed partner with your controlled stamina.
Warning: great stamina can make your bed partner enjoy sex too much, making them want to get under the covers with you very often.
Not many men have their orgasms under control, so it’s very likely that a female bed partner will be amazed by these techniques.
