Training your orgasm and delaying climax is possible. With the right techniques, you can immediately start delaying your orgasm and lasting longer in bed.
In this blog we assume a male to female ratio, as orgasm training is more common in men and this is a common problem.
What you should definitely not do to delay your orgasm:
❌ Counting sheep
❌ Thinking about something else
❌ Bringing an unattractive person into your mind
❌ Losing control over your desire
❌ Solving mathematical formulas in your head
❌ Masturbate just before sex
❌ Applying numbing cream to your genitals (dangerous!)
Read below how to get better in bed and ultimately create bed partner(s) who can't wait to be intimate with you again.
Why is orgasm training important?
Training for orgasm gives you more control over your body, allowing you to better satisfy your partner, ultimately allowing you to enjoy sex together more intensely.
This applies to one-night stands, but also to regular partners.
Why is it important that your partner enjoys it too? Because then they'll want to sleep with you more often.
You get satisfied, and so does she.
Give her what she wants (an orgasm) and you'll get what you want (more sex).
It's a logical explanation in principle.
If you want your partner to have sex with you more often, she MUST ALSO enjoy sex.
If your partner takes longer to orgasm, you have to make sure you last longer. Or you have to stimulate your partner better, which is more difficult since you can't always feel what they're feeling.
It is therefore easier to do the things that you can easily influence, yourself.
So if you make sure the other person can also experience an orgasm by building up stamina, she will show more interest in sex.
The reverse is also true: if your partner consistently finishes before you and leaves you unsatisfied, you'll become less and less interested. After all, it doesn't benefit you much.
Think of it as a dinner date:
You and your partner are going to a restaurant with a surprise menu, so you are not allowed to choose your food.
You'll always receive a beautiful and generous meal with the tastiest drinks, perfect sauces, and delicious garnishes. In short, a meal that's delicious and filling. You'll be surprised time and again with the best dishes—a truly top-notch place.
Your partner gets five slices of dried cucumber, and that's all they have. No sauces, no dessert, no drinks, nothing.
Your needs are being met, your partner's are not.
It's understandable that your partner would never want to eat at that restaurant again, right? She only gets cucumbers while you get to enjoy the food in spades.
It's exactly the same with sex and orgasms, learn to train your stamina so you can make it more fun and interesting for your partner.
You learn to control your orgasm and in return your partner will find sex much more interesting.
In short, training for an orgasm improves sexual performance for a one-night stand who might want to go back for a second or third time, even if you're a bit nervous.
Or your partner will find sex with you much more enjoyable because of your longer stamina.
How do you train yourself to control your orgasms?
There are two ways to learn to control your orgasm.
1. Have so much sex that it becomes second nature, that sex is no longer stimulating and may even become boring.
2. Recognize and manipulate the building tension in your body (through your own breathing).
The first option is possible, but it requires many partners and takes a long time. The downside is that once you find sex boring, it's difficult to change that.
The second option is easier, works quite quickly and also builds stamina quickly.
Option 2 is quite simple, once you start penetration it is important that you take your time, control your desire and make slow strokes with your penis.
A good rule of thumb: one thrust in or out every 1-2 seconds. Slower is also fine, of course.
Move rhythmically with your breath. As if you were meditating, inhale deeply, hold your breath for a few seconds, and exhale calmly and with control.
Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 3 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 3 seconds.
In principle it is not about the seconds, but about shifting your attention from your genitals to your breathing.
Whenever you find yourself straying back to your genitals, don't worry, just go back to your breathing.
This may feel awkward at first, but over time you will learn to do this unobtrusively.
It sounds a bit vague, but this technique works immediately the moment you start using it.
Focusing on your breathing allows you to put the stimulation in the background, keep your mind calm and your body relaxed.
Ultimately, it's important to practice this method. You can do this during sex, but ideally, you should already be in control of your own orgasm before you get to that point.
Apply these techniques while masturbating or even better, with a sex toy .
Masturbating with your own hands is not nearly as stimulating as a sex toy, which makes the challenge greater, but also makes the learning process better and therefore more effective.
In addition, there are two more exercises that you can do anywhere and anytime.
1. Meditate to learn to focus on your breathing. There are plenty of guided meditations online or on YouTube.
2. Train your pelvic floor muscles to control the onset of orgasm. The pelvic floor muscle is a muscle you use during urination and becomes active when you suddenly try to hold your urine during urination.
Try to identify your pelvic floor muscle during your next (sitting) toilet visit, or sit on a chair, try to urinate and then hold back your pee reflex. That tension you feel is the pelvic floor muscle and it feels like it is located just behind your genitals, between your bladder and your anus.
Contract and release your pelvic floor muscle, repeat this process 10 times, occasionally holding your pelvic floor muscle contracted for 4-5 seconds.
Do 10 reps, tensing and relaxing, sometimes holding the tension for a few seconds.
You do these 10 repetitions 3 times a day, with 1 minute of rest between each set.
- 10 repetitions
- 1 minute rest
- 10 repetitions
- 1 minute rest
- 10 repetitions
Exercise done.
You can do this exercise sitting, standing, or lying down. This muscle plays a major role in orgasm, as it pushes semen forward through your penis, so controlling it is crucial. You decide when you climax; without contracting this muscle, you simply can't experience an orgasm.
Techniques such as "edging" and "start-stop method".
Edging is the stimulation of your penis until just before ejaculation, balancing just on the edge of orgasm and stopping just before the point of no return.
This method will help you become comfortable with holding off an orgasm because the area of an orgasm will feel less tense.
The start-stop method is letting sex build up normally and stopping when the tension builds too much, a disguised form of edging.
This method can work, but it's not very effective, as the time between each start and stop becomes shorter and shorter, making sex less enjoyable for you. You become increasingly aroused, so after each stop, you'll start closer to your orgasm each time.
In short : keep a calm mind by focusing on your breathing, train your pelvic floor muscles, and practice these techniques in combination with lifelike sex dolls so that your performance is perfect when you want to amaze your partner with your controlled stamina.
Please note: excessive stamina can cause your partner to enjoy sex too much and want to get under the sheets with you very often.
Not many men have control over their orgasms, so a female partner's surprise at these techniques is very likely.
