Training your orgasm and delaying climax is possible. With the right techniques, you can immediately start delaying your orgasm and last longer in bed.
This blog assumes a man & woman dynamic, since orgasm training is more common among men and this is a frequent issue.
What you definitely should NOT do to delay your orgasm:
❌ Counting sheep
❌ Thinking about something else
❌ Thinking of an unattractive person
❌ Losing control over your desire
❌ Solving math problems in your head
❌ Masturbating right before sex
❌ Applying numbing cream to your genitals (dangerous!)
Read below how to get better in bed and eventually create bed partner(s) who can't wait to get intimate with you again.
Why is training your orgasm important?
Training your orgasm gives you more control over your body, allowing you to better satisfy your bed partner, so you both enjoy sex more intensely in the end.
This applies to one-night stands as well as steady partners.
Why is it important that your bed partner enjoys it too? Because then she will want to go to bed with you more often.
You get satisfied, and so does she.
Give her what she wants (an orgasm) and you'll get what you want (more sex).
It's basically a logical explanation.
If you want your partner to have sex with you more often, she ALSO needs to enjoy the sex.
If your partner takes longer to reach orgasm, you need to make sure you last longer. Or stimulate the other better, which is harder since you can't always feel what the other person feels.
That's why it's easier to focus on what you can easily influence—yourself.
So if you make sure the other person can also experience an orgasm by building endurance, she will show more interest in sex.
The reverse is also true: if your partner always finishes earlier than you and leaves you unsatisfied, you'll lose interest over time. After all, it doesn't do much for you.
Think of it as a dinner date:
You and your partner go to a restaurant with a surprise menu, so you can't choose your food.
You always get a beautiful and elaborate dish with the tastiest drinks, perfect sauces, and delicious garnish. In short, a meal that tastes great and leaves you full. Time and again, you're surprised with the best dishes—truly a top spot.
Your partner gets five slices of dried-out cucumber, and that's all they have to make do with. No sauces, no dessert, no drinks, nothing.
Your needs are met, but your partner's are not.
Makes sense that your partner never wants to eat at that restaurant again, right? She only gets cucumber slices while you get to enjoy a generous meal.
It’s exactly the same with sex and orgasms: learn to train your endurance so you make it more fun and interesting for your partner.
You learn to keep your orgasm under control, and in return, your partner finds sex much more interesting.
In short, training your orgasm leads to better bedroom performance in a one-night stand that might want a second or third time, even if you’re a bit nervous.
Or your partner finds sex with you much more enjoyable because of your longer endurance.
How do you train yourself to control your orgasms?
You can learn to control your orgasm in 2 ways.
1. Have so much sex that it becomes natural, sex no longer stimulates, and may even become boring.
2. Recognize and manipulate the building tension in your body (through your own breathing).
The first option is possible but requires many partners and takes a long time. The downside is that once you find sex boring, it’s hard to reverse that.
The second option is easier, works fairly quickly, and builds stamina fast.
Option 2 is quite simple: once you start penetration, it’s important to take your time, keep your desire in check, and make slow strokes with your genitals.
A good rule of thumb: one thrust in or out every 1-2 seconds. Slower is also fine, of course.
Move rhythmically with your breathing. Like meditating: inhale deeply, hold your breath for a few seconds, and exhale slowly and controlled.
Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 3 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 3 seconds.
Basically, it’s not about the seconds, but about shifting your attention well from your genitals to your breathing.
Whenever your mind drifts back to your genitals, no problem, just return to your breathing.
At first, it may feel awkward, but over time you learn to do it discreetly.
It sounds a bit spiritual, but this technique works immediately the moment you start applying it.
Focusing on your breathing helps you put the stimulation in the background, keeps your mind calm, and relaxes your body.
Ultimately, it’s important to practice this method. You can do this during sex, but ideally, you master your own orgasm before you get to that point.
Apply these techniques while masturbating or even better, with a sex toy.
Masturbating with your own hands is not nearly as stimulating as using a sex toy, which makes the challenge greater but also improves the learning process and makes it more effective.
Besides this, there are two more exercises you can do anytime and anywhere.
1. Meditate to learn to focus on your breathing; there are plenty of guided meditations available online or on YouTube.
2. Train your pelvic floor muscles so you control the initiator of an orgasm. The pelvic floor muscle is used during urination and becomes active when you suddenly try to hold back your urine while urinating.
Try to identify your pelvic floor muscle during your next (sitting) bathroom visit or sit on a chair, try to urinate and then stop the urine reflex; the contraction you feel is the pelvic floor muscle, which you’ll feel just behind your genitals, between your bladder and anus.
Contract your pelvic floor muscle and release it, repeat this process 10 times and occasionally hold your pelvic floor muscle contracted for 4-5 seconds.
Do 10 repetitions, contracting and relaxing, and sometimes hold the tension for a few seconds.
Do these 10 repetitions 3 times a day, with 1 minute rest between each set.
- 10 repetitions
- 1 minute rest
- 10 repetitions
- 1 minute rest
- 10 repetitions
Exercise complete.
You can do this exercise sitting, but also standing or lying down. This muscle is a big part of an orgasm, as it pushes semen forward through your penis; controlling it is therefore important. You decide when you climax, without contracting this muscle you can’t actually experience an orgasm.
Techniques such as "edging" and the "start-stop method."
Edging is stimulating your penis just before climax, balancing right on the edge of orgasm and stopping just before the point of no return.
This method makes you comfortable with holding back an orgasm because the area of an orgasm feels less exciting.
The start-stop method is the normal buildup of sex and stopping when the tension becomes too much, a disguised form of edging.
This method can work, but it is not very effective, as the time between each start and stop becomes shorter, making sex less enjoyable for yourself. You get more and more aroused, so after stopping you start again closer to your orgasm each time.
In short: keep your head calm by focusing on your breathing, train your pelvic floor muscles, and practice these techniques in combination with lifelike sexdolls so your performance is perfect when you want to impress a bed partner with your controlled endurance.
Note: great endurance can cause your bed partner to enjoy sex so much that they want to get under the sheets with you very often.
Not many men have control over their orgasm, so surprise from a female bed partner due to these techniques is very likely.
